The number one reason, we have so many problems in life be it, professional or personal is that we do not know how to listen. We live in a world where talking dominates our communication with each other.
As we communicate and solve problems, too often we assume, “If I tell someone to do something, they will leap into action and just do it.” This just doesn’t work in relationships, in sales, in business, or in everyday life.
People don’t like to be told anything —even if they are asking you to tell them. Telling causes resistance, not action. In your effort to be helpful and solve problems, you become part of the problem. The approach is wrong and causes us to miss a huge opportunity.
The answer is learning to listen to understand, uncovering the insight and meaning first. This enables you to change the conversation and achieve things.
Listening is extremely difficult. The subconscious is a superpower, and it’s in control.
When you’re listening, your subconscious is firing on all cylinders and telling you to do everything, except listen. Your subconscious is your enemy.
Attentive listening is the old paradigm of attending to the teller by showing them you are paying attention. With this approach, we tell people what behaviors to exhibit to show they are attending, but we don’t give them the tools to know how to do it. A low “I’m paying attention, so I’m listening” bar is set.
The old paradigm teaches people how to underachieve.